|
| Not meant to be?You see I have a problem, a weird problem. I am unable and maybe unwilling to have a relationship. Weird I know, but what can I tell you sometimes I really think it is like this. It is not that I don't know enough men or that I am too shy, I simply don't see the sense in it. Like I said this is gonna be complicated. Now I'm off for a few weeks and this strange feeling awakes of missing something and wanting something like for example a relationship, a flirt that goes deeper, but I am so bored after a while with all that flirting and this shit oh wow. I love being single, but on the other hand it would be also nice to have one.
But all these guys that are around well there is no one that is worth all the hard work. Do you think I'm a psycho? Oh wow sometimes I think this myself, I guess I will stay single like umm forever.
Let's see what Robbie says about this (damn he is so right)
You see the trouble with you
There's no trouble with you
So when you say that you love me
That stops me loving you
Plus i am also thinking about changing my diary, maybe I should move to wordpress, maybe than someone would read all this and maybe well only maybe I would get more comments.
So if anyone is reading this, please leave me a comment....
| | |
| HelloI'm still alive, but I have been very busy lately. First of all my family came back from Spain, which means that now everything is back to normal, ah gosh sometimes I hate it. My other gecko King also got sick, but finally I found the right vet, which costs a bunch of money, but it is worth every cent. Though it is still not sure how long she will make it, but I try to be as optimistic as I can be. Happy also went to the vet several times, because of different issues, but I hope finally she is okay again.
Then last week my best friend and his family visited me from July 26th untill July 30th. It was so good to see him again after three years, this really made my time.
My grandma also got very sick last week and we took her right on time to hospital. It is getting better somehow, but no one knows exactly what caused her kidney problems, so they are doing more tests. I hope it won't be anything too serious.
So yeah the past weeks have been a time of ups and downs, everything happened in a row, and especially my ill granny and my pets made living pretty stressfull those past days. I hope you are doing okay.
verena
| | |
| R.i.pMay you rest in peace Lucky. It wasn't meant to be, you were only 11 years old. I hope you are in a better world now and that you know that I love you though you are just a gecko, but you were my gecko.
  | | |
| If you wanna be rich...you got to be a bitch. If you gonna ride you ride don't ride a white horse.
I love that song, well I guess it is a bit older but still great.
I am very busy at the moment,more than ever. I have my finals for this semester, I have to take care of our house, my pets, the car and my family. I am just happy that it had rained the past days(and it still does) otherwise the garden would have driven me nuts.
One of my geckos is ill and I must say I am really really worried about him, he still is able to walk, but something is wrong with him, so I guess I have to go to a vet tomorrow. The problem is that a normal vet isn't an expert for reptiles, ah we will see how he is doing tomorrow or if he is still alive. Well.
On Saturday I am away almost all day, first in Bochum at my 'lovely' university and in the afternoon I am seeing Laith Al-Deen! I don't care if it's raining or not, I am just looking forward to it. It's gonna be awesome. My aunt will lend me her car since it is cheaper and two of my friends will come with me. On the concert I will meet another friend and her friends as well. So it's gonna be an interesting day.
I am also working on the 25th wedding anniversary gift for my parents since my sisters don't do it, I do all of it.
But at least then I know that it is what I planned it to be. Next week everything is gonna be less hectic, still some finals, lots of birthdays, but well it's gonna be okay.
Then the sun can come back as well, pretty please with a cherry on top.
verena
| | |
| Ah gosh, have you ever been mad about yourself? I made a decision which was more than fine for me. Well I thought, but what is better? To hold on to a decision that is right but somehow you know you will never be happy with it, because it leaves out an important part of your life or to go on with a situation / kind of relationship that gives you a lot, but sometimes takes even more and where you are never sure when the next time is where the person will dissapoint you and hurt your feelings like a hundred times before.
I don't know. It reminds me of the song with or without you by U2.
I hate myself for letting all my thoughts and hopes go that I can stay strong this time. But on the other hand exactly this person was there this morning where no one else was able to help me. Though it was just my nerves that played a trick. I am so busy these days, I already feel sick because of that.
I thought I forgot my car wasn't locked, very bad when you are two hours away from home.
ah just my thoughts, later more.
verena
| | |
|
